It started with The Hunger Games and ended in tears. Mid-movie, I wanted to know if Katniss lived and Nate didn’t want to ruin my experience by telling me. He was operating under the assumption that everyone enjoys suspense. I had lived enough to know that suspense and I were on a permanent break. It doesn’t feel safe – it’s unsettling. Once Nate filled me in (spoiler alert – she lives) I enjoyed a conflict-free movie and Nate learned something huge – I hate uncertainty. This was a big deal because he was currently trying to make our engagement as suspenseful as possible. Classic Planner-Dating-A-Visionary combo. So, we talked.
Getting married is a big life decision and there’s wisdom in discussing huge choices with your future spouse. We talked about engagement; we looked at rings; heck – we’d even discussed an ideal wedding weekend. Life doesn’t arrive in beautiful packages with a timeline of events and I was realizing that our story might not be perfectly outlined like I wanted it to be.
It was now July and we were moving from Vegas in a month. We weren’t engaged and every date we went on I let my emotions run wild with excitement until I realized it wasn’t the moment #instantdevastation. Nate, being the thoughtful and gracious man he is, let me know that we would be engaged within the next two weeks and that we were going on two dates the first week.
On the first date we skipped the dinner we were too anxious to eat and went straight to Leoné Café; a coffee shop on the outskirts of Vegas that didn’t feel “Vegasy.” Nate ordered me a Mocha and I stirred my spoon in the oversized mug to make sure there wasn’t a ring at the bottom. There wasn’t. While I wrangled my emotions and mind to be fully present, Nate drank my coffee. Note: I’ve tried to like coffee and I have confidence it will happen.
By the time he was finished with my coffee, we had settled into good conversation and I looked down to see the empty mug display the proposal at the bottom. He saw my wide eyes and got down on one knee, said incredible things we both don't remember. The suspense? Gone. Hunger? Back. We now had no secrets, no purposeful hiding of anything. It was done and we were engaged. There were happy tears, photos, and a green flag for all things wedding planning.
The best part was that I was getting to marry my best friend – the most amazing man. I love our proposal story. I love that three years ago we decided to plan a wedding in 2.5 months. I love that he was intentional about this process, that he took into consideration how I was wired, and that the ring was customized just for me. I love that we get to take trips back to Vegas to visit Tivoli Village and soak up the Nevada sun.
This time mattered because it was during this season that we started to dive into how we were wired and how conversations or lack of them could either hinder or help us. We also learned that as soon as you get engaged, questions come pouring in. So here's our top two for those stepping into this season.
Soak It In | There’s lots of things that need to get done for the wedding – they can wait. You don’t have to have a date or venue right away. Just celebrate.
Divide Your Time | It helped us to have intentional wedding planning time and date time where we didn’t have wedding talk at all.
So if you're engaged, congrats! You've got this and we're here to help make sure you pause and breathe in the little moments while we take care of the details.
If you're not engaged but you know that a proposal is right around the corner, keep being present. Don't let suspense steal your joy and make sure you soak in every moment.
And if you're Nate, thanks for being incredibly intentional in everything you do - especially our engagement. I'd say yes again; even if it involves coffee.
From our trip earlier this year visiting at Leoné Café
Fuji 400h & Portra 800 | Shot on Pentax 645nii